Bitchfit



I feel mean for thinking that he's not worth my time. Whatever. I shall be Nice Huda and continue chatting, taking 5 long minutes to reply each.. um, thing worthy of a response and let's see if he gets the hint. Technically, that's not Nice Huda but again, whatever.

I feel really pathetic right now. It's a Saturday night, Najib told me about an hour ago that he's going out, though he's still online, lol. But he's not replying me so hmm. Clubbing like crazy lah huh someone. Or hitting Siglap. Whatever, still beats what I'm doing. >:/

It being a Saturday night means I shouldnt be at home! I'M ALL ALONE AT HOME. With Kieffy of course. Who shut down the com a couple of minutes ago. What key she stepped on I've no clue. Maybe this computer's finally giving way? S H I T.

I am Loser Huda all alone because I refused to attend the family chalet/bbq thing. Why? Figured I could use this time to study peacefully at home. Little did I know how lonely it'd get. No wonder my brother gets all pissy and ANGSTY TEENAGERISH when folks arent home and I'm uh, out till late. He's only 11 btw and man. I can FEEL him turning into a monster. This one will hit puberty early too. I just know it.

(HE TOOK THE HINT! *THROWS CONFETTI)

Today was unproductive. Seriously. This is serious. But you know, my theory is the more fun you have, the more trouble you'll be in. So less fun=less punishment, though ultimately it's the same thing I'm doing. But going out fun is definitely not stay home fun. So it's differnt. Dont try to prove me otherwise. I've got a box of knives in the storeroom only ten steps away. And won't you know it, it's a MAGICAL box of knives that can be thrown through the net and it's got PERFECT aim it'll hit you right at the heart! *GASP!

See, I'm rambling my ass off.

Kieffy has been ridiculousy mushy of late. And I have been returning it in all fervour! My cat, is practically the sole receiving end of all my kisses. Because I'm a "swinging single" according to Jonathan and my family arent very kissy-huggy. I mean, we hug, and say "I love you"s, but kisses are getting rare. Which is good in a way cos then there's something to differentiate a special occasion from a normal one.

But but. I need more affection. More loving. That sounds spoilt, but hey, since Najib's been calling me a "Queen" might as well get that kinda treatment right. Been feeling pretty lousy about myself lately. And to put it plainly, THIS SUCKS.

Woo. I just used the term my successful, hot, married and youthful cousin claims is the ULTIMATE teenage phrase.

Rambling, bear with me here. AND FUCK. I CANT FIND MY OXFORD. DAMN.

Now, what's SHE doing, talking to me?! Today is a weird day with weird people talking to me on MSN. I can be so fake sometimes, I could hang myself. You may never know, it could be on the front page news one morning.

"Girl hangs self. Cause: She was so fake she couldnt take it."

Then again, that's a first class ticket to hell, and I just got news of some scary shit that happened to ex's dad aka Dick's dad which is wayyy freaky. No need for details here, yah.

I think it's possible I just Baygon-ed a pregnant cockroach. Hopefully it and its bloody babies die a hellish death. I hate them. They annoy the fuck out of me.

Oh and you know what, each time a memory of you comes floating by, oh you know, the times when my head gets totally wonky and I remember you from a distance, (HA HA HA. I ACTUALLY REMEMBER YOU OMG I DESERVE THE NOBEL PRIZE) I FEEL IT ALL. I don't like how it went, how I felt, everything. So screw you lah okay if you think I'm being a bitch. Not that you'd even realise. I'm a pleasant, innocuous looking slice of (poisoned) chocolate cake that may just cause you your life. (THANK GOD I DIDNT GO.)

This is one hell of a messy post. I'm feeling rather shitty. Like you couldnt tell.

I like Funny Little Feeling by The Rock N Roll Soldiers. I need "noisy bam bam music" to quote Rachel. Man, not very good if you've got lots of mellow chill out songs. Feeling all.. I dont know. WEIRD. Oooh. New found angst. Thanks Mud for satisfying this.. hunger. Mud the Music Man.

Could it be the jugful of coffee I prepared for a supposedly "all night study session" that's spurring all this?

Or maybe it's Cecelia Ahern's fault. Or Mr "Show me the money" cos all that lovin's leaving me too green and too sick. Le sigh.

I've been off coffee for some time now. Addiction greatly ceased since.. Right.

Since Marine Parade's Starbucks fucking closed down and I fucking missed the Closing Party for Regular Customers (trust me you're regular when you go there 4-5 times a week) because I decided to accompany J and meet Mr I-think-I'm-a-Rock-Star-but-I'm-really-down-to-earth-and-REALLY-well-read-cos-I-knew-the-meaning-of-your-name-that-first-time-we-chatted-on-MSN (when you so googled it, I'm not blonde you blind rat) then stayed out late hence my sleeping over (not blaming you J!), since you walked ran out of our lives, since I stopped going to Simei's outlet with Fatmah and nicknamed that Barista.. something I forgot, man dont I miss being the first customer there!, since I stopped going for my daily Nescafe's Mocha canned drink each morning before I make my way up to the library for ART (which is not art. it's.. Acadamic Reinforcement Time aka the programme Stupid Failing People go for), since College life started and I stopped frequenting coffee joints. Since. Forever.

It's still price elastic, hur hur.

Woo, I forgot what caffeine does to your head.

Dang. I want the old days back. Okay, maybe not really.

OMF. I know why this (post), is so. I'M HAVING MY FUCKING PERIOD. Ahh. This explains it all. How'd I forget?!

I NEED A - DAMN IT.

All my love, Huda *blows kisses